Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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