He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm both gender and math confused
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
