wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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