I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
