Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize