Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
