im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
