anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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