hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
