I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
not ubering you a puppy
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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