And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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