Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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