weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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