I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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