loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
