Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
where are you?
Hypothermia
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
