it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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