i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
