I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize