Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
