apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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