They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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