I skipped work to stalk him.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How external is "for external use only"?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
