sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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