How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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