Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
