well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
