Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
