He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
