Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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