How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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