Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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