found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
