someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
