Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
