i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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