Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
