If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
