im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I touched a dick in church today
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
