I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize