we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
honey bunches of taint.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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