guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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