how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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