I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
