need another drink. this is the easiest way
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My ass is underappreciated
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
