Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
