It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
