Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
