You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
