she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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