I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize