youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize