I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
