Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
