Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
