I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm like, not good at living.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
