He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
