I accidentally burped into my bong.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
