I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
